ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just high enough for therapy.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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