somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
