At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
