i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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