she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
