My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
