the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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