I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
No I am not eating basil off your cock
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize