Christians are straight up FREAKS
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
