Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize