My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
