vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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