Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
