she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
