Three words: puerto rican gang bang
do herpes really smell.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
