didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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