i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
