The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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