My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
