so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
