sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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