so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
