I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Randomize
