She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
