with your own penis?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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