nut hugger
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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