Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
