Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
