He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
