So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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