I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
