He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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