Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
