My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
