Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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