I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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