It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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