It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize