I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
