he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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