hotel room ftw
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
