Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize