hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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