you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
