I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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