I'm lost and stupid without you.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
