No awkward lesbian experiences without me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
