I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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