Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
