not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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