Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
