My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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