it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
