The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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