in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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